Those of you who have been here a while probably (hopefully) remember the interview with Mrs. Bastard from December 2015. If you don't remember it, well, look it up. I can't do everything for you. Anyway, she just shockingly mentioned that she would like to do another one, and since I had intended that to be an annual thing, I should probably keep my word or something.
So you people are officially on duty. Submit your questions in the comments below for my dear wife, and I will choose the best and/or least revealing ones for Interview 2.0, which should be published some time next month as long as the Call Gods allow it. There are no official rules on what questions you may ask, but you'd better god damn well believe that I will categorically ignore any question I deem inappropriate or too personal. I will not be revealing my name, age, location, childhood nickname, or my most ticklish spot (upper back).
Everyone ready? And . . . GO.
Stories about general surgery, trauma surgery, dumb patients, dumb doctors, and dumb shit from the dumb world around us.
Friday, 1 December 2017
Interview part 2
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I'll start this post by answering a few questions that may or may not be burning in your mind: No, I'm not dead. No, I didn't g...
EDIT NOVEMBER 1 2017: GINGER'S LIST HAS BEEN UPDATED TO 142 PAPERS. I HAVE ADDED ALL THE NEW ONES IN ORDER. NEW PAPERS ARE PREFACED BY *...
How many true surprises are there in life? This was the question I asked Mrs. Bastard when she was pregnant with our first child and wanted ...
EDIT: New and improved version, now with 83 of your favourite myths. Ooooooh boy. I have no idea what kind of rabbit hole I'm entering...
Secons ticklish spot is....?ReplyDelete
I'm pretty sure she won't answer this, or if she does I will nuke it.Delete
Darn foiled again!Delete
What's DocBastard's embarrassing secret/s?ReplyDelete
Nice try, but I don't have any. Ha! Perhaps Mrs. Bastard will have a different answer, but I can always censor, er I mean edit what she says.Delete
What is your favorite blog post? Thank you both for doing this interview again.ReplyDelete
What is your favorite holiday and why?ReplyDelete
did we already ask what the most bizarre call god summons was?ReplyDelete
what is Doc's "tell" that there is a new story forming?
in honor of the season, what is Doc's favorite Christmas song?
what is your secret for cleaning up bloody wood shavings?
what is your secret for cleaning up bloody wood shavings?Delete
Tee Hee and muffled snickers.
A seasonal one:ReplyDelete
Mrs B': What is Christmas like at Chateau Bastard? Is the Doc' safe from being dragged off to remove a punch-ladle inserted in anger or do you spend the day on-edge waiting for the pager to go? At home? At relatives? Do you even keep Christmas?
Christmas is always an interesting time for emergency responders. I remember one Christmas, my father and I sat in the engine for a half hour waiting for a deputy to confirm that a guy wasn't REALLY going to start shooting - because his smoke detector kept going off from cooking fumes.Delete
How stressed is Doc at home about work?ReplyDelete
What brings tough ole Doc Bastard to tears? (posted by Nautipirate).ReplyDelete
What's it like being the wife of a surgeon, how do you cope with his long hours? How is grocery shopping with the DocBastard?ReplyDelete
good one on the grocery shopping.Delete
Would you want your kids to be Doc Bastard juniors?ReplyDelete
Does Doc suffer from male erectile dysfunction? :) on occasion...ReplyDelete
Is Doc any good at carving the turkey?ReplyDelete
Whats the best thing Doc can cook? What shows do you two watch together? You take a family photo, what is Doc doing (forcing a fake smile, looking dour, blinking...again)?ReplyDelete
We know what doc thinks of shows like House, but what does Mrs. Bastard think?ReplyDelete
Wait, what? Doc has written about HOUSE? Is there a link to be had!? I don't see a search box here. I LOVED that show the first 3 seasons. I've always pictured Doc Bastard as a hybrid between Dr. Philip Chandler from ST. ELSEWHERE & Dr. Greg House.Delete
Basically most doctors hate those shows for sheer stupidity and innacuraciesDelete
the fire/rescue community feels the same about Chicago Fire, et al. well, actually we think of them as comedies.Delete
Granted, much of the stupidity on those shows lies in the high titillation factor. All those pretty people with perfect bodies screwing their coworkers during the first few seasons. Unlike in tv land, I'd think think that any real intern or RN caught banging a superior is gonna get canned, regardless of gender. Things haven't changed that much in the real world.Delete
But Hollywood pays a pretty penny to Medical Script Consultants like this guy to ensure the accuracy of the jargon/procedures on big-time shows like GREY'S ANATOMY. Dr. Steven Giannotta had this to say about the gig:
"I remember first meeting with the writers on a Hollywood soundstage where sets for the show were being created. They were meticulous in wanting every word, every surgical tool, every nuance of the OR to be accurate. They focused on the interaction of the surgical team, which is not unlike an orchestra — the neurosurgeon is the conductor, but every member plays a key role in the patient's outcome. What intrigued me and why I got involved with the show was that Grey's Anatomy is not just about the upside and downside drama of brain surgery, but also showcases a teaching hospital where new and experienced physicians are learning from one another. The characters are not "gods," they are real and sometimes flawed, but at the center they practice passionate care. It's the compassion, not the complex neurological cases, that drives Grey's Anatomy's characters and medical care at Keck Medical Center.
A lot of people have asked me if the show over dramatizes the procedures. The answer is, TV could never over dramatize some of the cases I have encountered. For instance, one day I received a call from one of the writers asking about his own situation, which involved a very serious condition, one that few neurosurgeons have ever seen. Fortunately, I was able to successfully operate, and he recovered nicely. I'm not sure if that storyline ever made it into a script, but it was a great dramatic story with a happy ending."
Sure, he's tooting his own horn a bit. But I think most Americans know by now that shocking someone who has flatlined will not restart their heart in real life. It's my understanding that Asystole = a dead heart muscle. Folks remember AP Bio, the SA node, Potassium inside the heart cells, Sodium & Calcium outside the cells. Voltage regulation & depolarization. From what I recall, the electrolyte balance makes it too complicated to just jumpstart the heart with a defibrillator like it's a battery.
But I loved HOUSE because there was always some serious-but-not-imminently-fatal undiagnosed ailment to be sussed out by our Vicodin-addicted MD. I thought it worked well as an Americanized update of the Sherlock Holmes/Dr.Watson redux.
yeah, you get somebody in full cardiac arrest, and a couple of gentle presses on the chest ain't gonna bring them back. we do sometimes get cases where a person blacks out for some other reason, and a well intentioned bystander attempts CPR; which usually wakes them back up.Delete
otherwise, CPR is most definitely not as seen on TV, partially because you DON'T do it on a live person, and that limits what actors can do with it, and partially, because it is a brutal, grueling slog, that usually goes from wherever the patient collapsed, until sometime after they get to the ER.
and defib is more like (ctrl)(alt)(del) than jumpstarting.
How did you come to marry Doc? Did he propose on bended knee, did you propose to him, or did you just both decide it was time?ReplyDelete
How long have you two been married?ReplyDelete
What's the best present Doc ever gave you? (Excluding your perfect offspring, of course.)ReplyDelete
How do you keep your household running smoothly? Does Doc help with the dishes?ReplyDelete
What made you fall in love with Doc, and he with you? (apart from the obvious, perhaps)ReplyDelete
Do you have any advice for newly weds/ new parents/just random peces of good general life advice?ReplyDelete
What is Doc's favorite dish for you to cook and will you share the recipe?ReplyDelete
We all know that Doc Bastard has a fascination for pulling various things out of rectums. What is the best "removed from rectum" story he's ever told you? I bet it wasn't the one he told US!ReplyDelete
Corollary question - did he woo you with stories like these in order to persuade you to get hitched?
(who still can't find or remember her damn password and it's not behind the refrigerator - I looked!)
Did you check behind the microwave?Delete
If not there, then check under the plant pot.
If not there then check the basket.
I once remotely located a total-stranger-on-the-internet's keys INSIDE the refrigerator.ReplyDelete
but I'm not getting a vibe on your password.
Having just read Wednesday's question on rectal insertion. I was totally ready to read: "... keys INSIDE..." well, you get the idea.Delete
Glad it was a little more hygienic.
This comment has been removed by the author.Delete
How did you two meet?ReplyDelete
How did you know he was “the one”?
Who said “I love you” first?
Where OR how did he he Pop the question?ReplyDelete
Is he romantic?
What is the first present he ever got you?
Who has the higher libido? You or him?
Hi Mrs. B. Thanks for agreeing to an encore appearance.ReplyDelete
If DocB were an animal (of the non-human sort) what animal would he be?
What would you be?
What kind of hybrids would the Little Bastards be?
And which inhabitant of the Bastard Zoo would win in a bar fight?
Does Doc utilize any of his surgical skills at home? Can he sew a hem? How good is he at spatchcoking a turkey or is that skill limited to orthopaedic surgeons? Can he tie a fancy bow on a present?ReplyDelete
Hi Doc & Mrs.B!ReplyDelete
A question for Mrs.B:
1) If you could magically change Doc's profession, what would you have it be?
And another for you both:
2) What type of place would be your dream retirement destination?
Happy holidays :)
Hello Mrs. B.ReplyDelete
Who are his favorite authors/artists/actors?
What kind of movies do you like and what do you watch together?