Monday, 2 November 2015

Trauma drama

There's a very good reason "trauma" and "drama" rhyme.  I'm convinced that whoever was responsible for those two words' etymology could see the future and just knew that trauma patients would cause the second-most drama in the hospital.  The most is caused by psychiatric patients of course, unless you watch Grey's Anatomy, in which case you believe the drama is a result of the nurses and doctors all sleeping with each other in every bathroom, janitor's closet, and stairwell in the hospital.

As usual, I digress. 

Since I don't deal with psychiatric patients (much) (thank god) (there's a reason for that), I have to be satisfied with the Trauma Drama.  Fortunately, I'm seldom disappointed. 

Maurice (not his real name™) was brought to me one gloriously dramatic day having been shot in the back.  That doesn't usually happen if you're the victim of an attempted robbery (most armed robbers give up when their victims run away), nor does it happen often by accident.  Ordinarily you'd have to do something pretty awful to deserve being shot in the back.  

Maurice certainly fit the bill.

The trajectory of the bullet was admittedly strange to me - it entered his flank on one side and exited the mid-back on the other side.  That's an awfully odd track, so I instantly suspected something weird.  Maurice, like most every gunshot victim, wasn't offering up any details about what happened.  It's quite amazing how people instantly clam up the moment you ask how and why they got shot.

Regardless, Maurice's vital signs were surprisingly stable, though I strongly suspected something awful was going on inside his abdomen.  I pushed lightly on his belly, and he made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a squeal.  No need for a CT scan here - Maurice had peritonitis, and I called the operating theatre immediately.

I rushed downstairs and managed to beat him by several minutes.  I was waiting there with the police officers (who apparently had a few questions to ask Maurice), and they seemed to be chuckling to themselves.  When they saw me, they asked if I expected Maurice to live.  I told them I had no idea, and that it depended on what kind of catastrophe I found. 

"Did you hear what happened, Doc?" one of them asked me.

Oh, do tell.

"Maurice here was sleeping with his best friend's girl.  His friend found out about them, but he didn't say anything to Maurice, and they just got in his car together.  I guess he was planning on driving him to some remote location and then shooting him, but they didn't get that far, so the guy just turned and shot him while they were still in the car."

During surgery I found a series of holes in his small intestine and two in his colon.  It took me a bit less than two hours to remove two segments of his small intestine, put the ends back together, and repair his colon.  I left the operating theatre and told the officers that I expected him to live.

But the drama didn't end there - Maurice's wife showed up to the hospital later that evening.  I spoke to her briefly to tell her what I found and what I did to her husband, and she barely responded at all.  Based on the look on her face (which strangely reminded me of the look on MomBastard's face when I was a child and she knew I had done something wrong, I just didn't know which evil deed of mine she had discovered), someone had already told her why Maurice had been shot.  I (wisely) decided to leave it alone and not poke that particular snake.  I decided simply to be satisfied that Maurice didn't die from his wounds. 

Somehow his wife didn't kill him either.  

34 comments:

  1. Trauma and drama don't rhyme in English English Doc!

    Much as I deplore messing around with someone else's partner (and indeed betraying one's own) it doesn't quite rate as a capital crime. Glad you were able to fix him up!

    Ugi

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's an approximate rhyme. Just go with it. :)

      Delete
    2. I might allow you a little artistic license just this once ;-)

      After all, scumbag though he may be, you did save a guy's life!

      Delete
    3. How do English-English speakers pronounce drama and trauma?

      Delete
    4. Drahma and trawma ;)

      Delete
    5. Ah and aw make the same sound though, don't they?

      Delete
    6. Ah and aw aren't the same sound.

      Delete
    7. I believe in BBC english, drama rhymes with gramma.

      Delete
    8. "Ah" and "Aw" sound exactly the same in American-English.

      Google to the rescue:
      Drama: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/pronunciation/english/drama
      Trauma: http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/pronunciation/english/trauma

      So British English would be "Tr-ah-ma" and "Dr-Oh-ma".
      American English would be "Tr-ah-ma" and "Dr-ah-ma" (and rhyming perfectly).

      Delete
    9. Trauma has an "au" in it, not just an "a." Standard American English pronounces that as "traw-ma," not as "trahma."
      The "trahma" pronunciation would indicate a regional accent ... one that includes dinosahrs, cahtion signs and Lahrel & Hardy.

      Delete
    10. In English English, trauma rhymes with warmer and drama rhymes with farmer. If that helps at all!

      Delete
    11. I know I'm late to the party here, but I can't overlook the fact that everyone who's posted about the pronunciation difference is either flat-out wrong, or hasn't really helped to clarify things.

      In most variants of English English, "drama" is pronounced more or less the same as in most variants of American English.

      In most variants of English English, the "au" in trauma is pronounced almost exactly the same way that the "o" in "or", or "cord", or the "oa" in "board" would be pronounced in American English or English English, although the sound is slightly more drawn-out.

      In other words, the two sounds are the same in AE, but very different in EE.

      Delete
    12. This discussion thread did not exactly go the way I expected.

      Delete
    13. No kidding! Who'd have thought that we'd end up in a debate about linguistics!

      Delete
    14. In the California American English accent it rhymes haha "dramaaaah" "tramaaaaaah"

      Delete
    15. In the California American English accent it rhymes haha "dramaaaah" "tramaaaaaah"

      Delete
    16. Drama and trauma rhyme if you are from Chicago usa draaahhhhma and traaaahhhhma

      Delete
  2. we had our semiannual shooting here last week. according to news reports the shooter did a much more thorough job of it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why kill him when the alimony and child support will remind him that he is stupid for the rest of his life?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, with proven infidelity like that's she easily got the house, assets, kids, and his paycheck. It would have been cheaper to divorce her first.

      Delete
  4. This has nothing to do with this story, but I have to share one of the dumbest reasons to get shot (dead). Yesterday in my area, a bull was loose on the highway and a Subaru hit him. The bull was OK, but the two passengers were not. They were trapped in the car. The emergency rescuers were being attacked/charged by the bull while they were trying to save the occupants. Just as the sheriffs were about to shoot the bull (really no other option) the owner came along and ended up in a gun fight to save his bull. Both he and the bull lost. This seems as ridiculous a reason to die as many of the people Doc writes about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. okay, yeah - that does seem a bit dumb? can you link a news story - I have friends who collect such examples of stupidity.

      Delete
    2. On the surface it is dumb - but a top producing bull can generate a LOT of income. His owner lost a lot more money than his value per pound and even if he had him insured he was losing his future earnings.

      There really was no other option but to shoot the bull though. They're nothing to be trifled with and they're not half as dangerous as an American bison bull. Don't mess with bison - period. But particularly don't mess with bulls.

      The $156,000 top-selling Lot 1 bull of the 2010 Schaff Angus Valley Sale (Angus are meat cattle)

      Toystory (Holstein - dairy breed) sold 2.4 units of semen before his death. One of his daughters was purchased for $300,000 in 2009.

      Wednesday

      Delete
    3. I agree that the farmer would potentially have suffered a huge loss by shooting the bull, but then if it was as valuable as all that, perhaps he should not let it go wandering along the highway!

      Delete
    4. we have a saying in the emergency services business: "if you rush in and get killed, you only make the problem bigger"

      you get your bull killed, you have an insurance claim.

      you get in a gunfight with the police, you are dead, have criminal charges, waste public funds on the investigation... and the bull is still dead.

      Delete
    5. I found a link.

      http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/rancher-shot-killed-idaho-deputies-fight-bull-article-1.2421330

      apparently, the rancher's wife suffered a heart attack that the media is relating to the stress brought on by news of the incident as well.

      Delete
  5. Hi Unknown, your story is the reason i had to clean my keyboard.
    Thanks for the visual and the giggle.

    ReplyDelete
  6. John comes on here and unloads a whole lotto bull...and it's byproducts...all the time. Somehow he hasn't been shot yet...hmmmm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's probably because he never leaves his food encrusted keyboard and chair full of cobwebs to go outside where anything dangerous could happen.

      Delete
    2. not true, we have indications that he is only allowed to use the computer at certain times of the day.

      Delete
    3. Galileo was once persecuted because of his opinion, beliefs, and theories. They ridiculed the Wright Brothers too.

      So why am I being suppressed? If you have a policy of rejecting 'crazy' ideas without giving them a fair hearing, you would have joined those 'experts' who rejected Galileo and the Wright Brothers.

      Delete
    4. Are you seriously serious, John? Are you actually comparing yourself to Galileo and the Wright Brothers?

      You know who else people laugh at, John? Clowns. Some people deserve ridicule, and you fall squarely in that category. Even though you're banned, I'm leaving your comment up so everyone can see the depths you're plumbing.

      Delete
    5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    6. I've just seen that 7 Nov comment! Fantastic!

      John - if you are another Galileo or Wright Brothers then you are doing the world a terrible disservice hanging around on internet comment boards!

      Apply that prodigious talent to creating the step-change in science, engineering or technology that you are capable of and we will all be grateful for it! Not to mention the vast wealth that you will accumulate as a result. I assure you the Inquisition is nothing like so ruthless as it was in Galileo's day!

      Delete

If you post spam or advertisements, I will hunt you down and eliminate you.

Comments may be moderated. Trolls will be deleted, and off-topic comments will not be approved.

Web-hosted images may be included thusly: [im]image url here[/im]. Maybe. I'm testing it.

COVID-19 Mythbusting (clean)

Due to popular demand (well, two polite requests, actually), I have decided to create a clean version of my post about COVID-19 myths . If...