Monday, 30 November 2015

Holiday request

I'm venturing a bit outside my comfort zone on this post, but it's for a very good reason: to honour a request by Mrs. Bastard.  Now I'm by no means a "Yes, dear" kind of husband, but I do everything I can to make her happy, especially when her request makes my life just a bit easier in the process. 

Last night Mrs. Bastard had an interesting proposal for me.  Unfortunately it did not involve any adult fun-time activities, but it piqued my curiosity nonetheless:

"As a holiday present for your readers, why don't you ask them to ask me questions.  Sort of an 'Ask Mrs. Bastard' kind of interview."

Hmm . . .

I had to admit I was intrigued by the idea.  I seem to recall someone emailing me just such an idea some time ago, but I never mentioned it to her since I didn't think she would ever agree in a million years.  But, as it seems to happen so often with her, I was wrong.  Again. 

Sigh

Anyway, she's obviously up for it, so this is your chance, folks.  Put your questions for Mrs. Bastard in the comment section before she changes her mind.  They can be any question you like - questions about her, questions about me, how the hell she puts up with me, what makes her tick, what she sees in me, why she hasn't traded me in yet for a better model, etc.  I solemnly swear (really) I will ask her each and every one.  I do not guarantee, however, that I will post every response, and I can definitely guarantee that any questions she (or I) deems too personal will be ignored and/or deleted with alacrity and extreme prejudice.

Ready?

Go.

44 comments:

  1. Dear Mrs.Bastard.
    What is the hardest part about being married to a doctor, and what is the best part? Also, what are some of the things both you or DocBastard did which lead to a successful and lasting relationship despite the difficulties? Oh, and what is your favorite "trauma story" ever?

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  2. Has being married to a doctor ever cause tensions in your marriage? If so, how were you able to overcome those tensions?

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  3. How did you two meet? When did you know he was "the one"? I want to know the mushy side!

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  4. Are you a doc as well? Which of you decided he should be known as doc eastward, and why?

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  5. Darned auto correct, I meant bastard, not eastward

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  6. Mrs Bastard,
    *If one of your children decided that they were going to become a doctor, or were going to marry someone who was, what advice would you give them in regards to making family life work?
    *I think Doc Bastard has mentioned in a previous post that you work too - do you ever find it difficult to juggle your own work commitments alongside raising a family given that your husband has a really demanding job with unpredictable hours?
    Thank you!

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  7. every emergency services spouse has a "curse you call gods" story to tell.

    so, barring things that cant be printed, what's the most inconvenient time the call gods decided to borrow the doctor?

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  8. Does he put his freezing cold feet on you when he finally crawls into bed? If so, do you swat him with a pillow?

    (Submitted twice because it appears to have disappeared the first time, but I may be mistaken)

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  9. damn... all the questions I wanted to ask, are already written here... So, another one: what is your favorite book? :)

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  10. Dear Mrs Bastard:
    Do you read all of Doc's blog posts? Do you typically talk about work (either his or yours) at home?

    Best wishes,
    Lumi

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  11. Mrs. Bastard, as you probably know your husband used to frequent FMyLife.com. Share an FML of your own!

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    Replies
    1. (no apparent edit button) I don't mean necessarily something that has to do with DocBastard, but it could if you want ;)

      Delete
  12. Dear Mrs. Bastard,
    Is Doc as difficult to put up with as he seems to think he is and if so, how do you do it?
    -Damien

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  13. What is your fondest memory of your husband (if you can choose one)? What's the most exciting thing you have done together?

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  14. Dear Mrs. Bastard,
    What is ration of affection to interruption by the call gods? I mean, a perfunctory kiss usually follows a call by the call gods, but have the kids with your parents for the weekend, have the wine uncorked, candles lit, great meal done to perfection, and what happens with the call gods? When you finally have him home, sitting at that table, looking longingly at you, and you lean into each other for some serious lip locking tongue hockey, what happens with the call gods?

    We hear about the call gods from the Doc all the time, but my guess/experience is that the more intimate you get, and the more important that intimacy, the more the call gods are infuriated. Probably by a lack of throwing a virgin into the nearest volcano. Or, they just like to F*** with couples before they can really "get it on"

    Your experiences? Do you have a great "Call Gods" story? My favorite is when he accidentally got my underwear instead as he was racing out after the phone call. My undies are uncomfortably small and did nothing for those who happened to be changing in the locker room with him. Apparently not his color.

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  15. How did the name DocBastard come about?
    How do you put up with the unpredictableness and inconvenience of his schedule?

    That's all i can think of. Great idea!

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  16. How do you deal with Doc's Coke addiction? ;)

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  17. Mrs. Bastard,

    NTs vs Aspies, who wins?

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  18. What do you love most about your husband and what in your opinion was the nicest thing he has ever done for you?

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  19. Dear Mrs...

    If you could change one thing about the good doctor...what would it be and why?

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  20. They say that behind every good man is a woman shaking her head. Mrs. Bastard, when the doc isn't saving lives or writing faboulous blog entries; what is he like around the house that makes him a regular guy?

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  21. Dear Mrs. Bastard,

    I haven't yet thought of a more interesting question than those already written here, but I want to thank *you* for the unintended holiday "gift" you've given to *me.*

    Over the years, I've learned many different ways of expressing good wishes during the winter holiday season. Persons raised in the tradition of the Christian faiths say "Merry Christmas" or "Blessed Christmas." Friends, neighbors, and colleagues of the Jewish faith get a "Happy Hannukah" greeting, and there's still plenty of time to celebrate the week *after* Christmas, when it's time to say "Happy Kwanzaa" to those who celebrate the African festival of family, community and culture.

    But now, for the first time, I can extend a completely sincere holiday wish, in words that I've never actually used before...

    WISHING A JOYOUS AND BLESSED HOLIDAY SEASON TO ALL YOU BASTARDS!

    :)

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  22. What about Doc made him the one you chose?

    I know you have children but they are mentioned as an abstract - I get it - they deserve privacy - I too have a blog and I refer to my daughter as "little tyke" and my son as "the big boy" and of course my husband as "hubby" - I would love to hear about the kids and how they fit into your lives.

    How did you two meet again? Who made the first move to make the second & third dates? How long was the engagement, what season is the anniversary?

    Does Doc celebrate the anniversary & birthdays well or is he one to always forget and try to make up for it?

    Once you found out that Doc was a Doc, did that make you nervous (I'm sure you'd heard stories about them never being around and such)?

    What do you work as - again it's mentioned that you work but I don't believe it's ever been indicated outright.

    What are the TV shows that you watch together?

    Which holiday is your favorite and why - what is your fondest memory of it?

    Do you celebrate your birthday or do you do everything to ignore it?

    Do the kids have chores - what do each do, what age did you have them start different things?

    What about Doc drives you crazy?

    Do you or Doc speak another language - if so, what - can you speak,read,write?

    Would you ever go back to school - if so, for what?

    What is your biggest regret?

    If you could live in any state, what state would it be and why?

    OK, I think that's enough.... I'm sure I could keep thinking of things but that should suffice for now!

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    Replies
    1. You got a bit greedy there, Dee. :)

      Delete
    2. Hey - you didn't set a limit :P

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    3. Looks at Doc B: Point to Nurse Dee. You didn't specify and I think she covered a lot of ground most of the rest of us are wanting to know anyway. Think of it as a time saver.

      Delete
  23. I honestly wasn't expecting this many questions (looking at you, Nurse Dee), so unless you want a 749 page blog post, Mrs. Bastard and I will have to pare it down to the best ones.

    But there are some excellent questions so far, folks. Keep them coming.

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    Replies
    1. So your going to make a seperate blog post to answer? I would have expected merely answering via replies to the comments. Either way would give us more to read from you and your wife haha -connor

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    2. fortunately, there are probably some that can be grouped and answered in a single story.

      Delete
  24. Dear Mrs. Bastard,

    Is he really a bastard? I doubt it, but the question begs to be asked.

    Happy Holidays and a happy and healthy New Year!

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  25. Mrs. Bastard,

    Be honest. Did he ever try to use Viagra?

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    Replies
    1. ...srsly? Are you the erection dude? -.-

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  26. What is Doc's most irritating habit? And what do you think he would say is yours?

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  27. Did his stories ever gross you out? I had a teacher tell me that when one works in medicine, nothing is sacred anymore (thus the telling of weird jokes and stories around the dinner table, which prompts my mother to tell me and my other medical siblings to take our conversation outside:) We might sound jaded but really we do care about our patients)

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  28. How often does DocBastard tell you stories from his work that you'd have preferred not to hear?

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  29. When you and Doc get a chance to plan a "date night" (a break for just the two of you, without the Little Bastards), what activity do you prefer? Quiet evening at home, dinner and a movie out, dancing and drinks at the club, evening at a play or opera, comedy club, or ?

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  30. I am a mother of four busy daughters and wife to often away husband....how will you keep the call gods from interfering with your Christmas plans this year?

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    Replies
    1. good luck with that. I grew up with my father disappearing from the table during holiday dinners. now we both disappear from the table. the only remedy for it is to be out of town.

      Delete
  31. Hello Mrs. Bastard,

    If a movie of Doc's life were to be made, what actor would you choose to play him? Who would/should play you?

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  32. Mrs. Bastard -- You really don't mind him calling you Mrs. Bastard on the internet in front of everybody? So how did he charm you into marrying him in the first place?

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  33. Hi Mrs. B.

    If Doc wasn't a doctor what career do you think he would have chosen or been good at?
    My husband is an M.D. also. His mother always said that if he had not gone to medical school he would be sitting on the beach making necklaces.

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  34. Mrs B. I find it fun to ask for the impossible and watch people work really hard to give it to me.....your hubby seems up to a challenge so hopefully you are as well....here goes..
    Please describe (as best as possible cuz I am quite sure there is no such thing) a typical day in the life of the Bastard family.

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    Replies
    1. Hey, this sounds like a great concept for a reality show..."At Home With The Bastards!"

      Delete
  35. Mrs. Bastard,

    Does Doc ever bring his work home with him? If so, does he clean up the mess himself, do you do it, or do you both share the responsibility equally?

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