Ok, more stupid patient stories. One of my favourites is a 33 year old woman who jumped out of a second story window. Why? Because the guy she was with told her she had to go. So she went...out the window. Of course she was high on cocaine, why even ask!
She broke several bones in her back, but that's not the best part. I was doing a FAST (Focused Abdominal Sonogram for Trauma) to check for any signs of internal bleeding, and when I put the ultrasound probe over her pelvis, I saw something move.
"Any chance you could be pregnant?" I asked her.
"No, I just had my period 2 weeks ago," she replied.
The fetus was actually 24 weeks along and probably just as high on cocaine as she was.
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Stupidity isn't limited to trauma - it carries over to general surgery, too. I finished doing a hernia repair on a guy a few days ago, and as we all know, patients who undergo hernia surgery should avoid any heavy lifting for 3-4 weeks after the operation. I reminded him of this, and he looked at me askance and said, "But my leading lady weighs about 21 stone (300 pounds)."
I thought he must be kidding. But he wasn't smiling or laughing.
"Just don't pick her up," I replied, thinking he must be joking.
"I mean in bed."
He's 71 years old. His wife is too.
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
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EDIT: New and improved version, now with 83 of your favourite myths. Ooooooh boy. I have no idea what kind of rabbit hole I'm entering...
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God damn it, here we go again. Another goddamned rabbit hole, and another goddamned long-ass post that no one will likely read, care about... -
EDIT: 75 myths now updated to 82. If you are reading this, chances are that you repeated an anti-vaccine myth or said you weren't vacc...
Was the fetus ok? I feel sorry for its future... It's not even born yet and its life is already messed up...
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