Friday, 28 October 2011

Drug seeking

ATTENTION ALL DRUG SEEKING MORONS. ATTENTION. PLEASE READ.

I'm smarter than you. Have I said that before? I think so, but it bears repeating. You may think you're very clever and have it all figured out. You can try to claim you're allergic to ibuprofen, aspirin, naproxen, Toradol, Ultram, Tylenol/paracetamol, and everything except Dilaudid. But you can NOT fool me. I'm amazed that people are so arrogant that they think they can trick me into giving them narcotics.

Last night, two 22-year olds were in a car accident, and both claimed to have severe, crippling back pain. Red flag #1. I was suspicious, so I pulled up the driver's prescription record (didn't know I could do that, did you, smarty pants?). In the past few weeks, he had prescriptions for codeine, Vicodin, Percocet, 2 benzodiazepines, Ambien, and Viagra. Yes, VIAGRA. Red flag #2. Oh, and his arms were covered in track marks. Red flag #3.

After a CT of both their spines were normal (please, control your surprise), I watched as both were propping themselves up in bed and twisting and turning - all things that people with back injuries can not do. Red flag #264. I accused them of drug seeking, and the driver immediately threatened to sue me for malpractice (ha!!). I happily gave him my hospital ID and a pen and told him to write my name down and have his lawyer call me. Not the best idea, threatening to sue the guy who you're trying to con some narcotics from.

The driver's father, who is an oncologist, came and picked them up, and they amazingly were able to get up and walk out. It's a miracle!!!

You're both cretins. And you're busted.

11 comments:

  1. As a sufferer of extreme chronic pain, and part of the chronic illness community at large, I just want to give a big hefty FUCK YOU to creeps like that. Do they realize how difficult they make it for legitimate sufferers like us to get help? We are scrutinized, marginalized, treated like scum sucking, second class citizens whose only goal is to get drugs so we can get our jollies while hooting and hollering about how we tricked the system… when in reality, all we want is a few seconds, minutes, maybe hours of relief from the unrelenting, unremitting pain that drives us unmercifully into the cold, gritty earth. We want to live a semblance of a normal life that the carefully controlled narcotics would give us back, but so often we are denied… because of creeps like this. Again, I say, FUCK. YOU. Thank you for busting these cretins. I wish you had kicked them with a steel toed boot on their way out.. preferably in those thoroughly healthy spines of theirs. I know that can be pretty painful. Give them a taste of what REAL back pain feels like, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not all drug addiction treatment programs are the same, though. Some offer gender-specific programs, while others are co-ed. Some treat only drug addicts, while others offer programs for alcoholism, eating disorders, gambling, and other addictions. Geography can also make a difference.
    enlast

    ReplyDelete
  3. For most situations it is ideal to work with a trusted, private Medicare insurance group. They will keep you a breast of changes and work with you to completely understand your current circumstances and changing needs.https://smartmedigapplans.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. When you choose a there are numerous places and facilities to choose from, and there are also many different considerations that you will need to evaluate. florida

    ReplyDelete
  5. Much of the time, addicts start to feel genuine alleviation inside a couple of days of starting all encompassing medication recovery best Doctor Available here detoxofsouthflorida.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. Addiction to and withdrawal from prescription drugs can be more dangerous than other substances because of the insidious nature of these drugs.buy iqos heets

    ReplyDelete
  7. Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer!.. recovery centers near me

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow! Such an amazing and helpful post this is. I really really love it. It's so good and so awesome. I am just amazed. I hope that you continue to do your work like this in the future also Inpatient Drug Reha

    ReplyDelete
  9. There are several posts to choose from near this, I do think taking there reference could experience made this spot or article really informative. That’s not me expression this information is negative. Simply I’ve got to pronounce how the info provided here was unique, merely to make it more in close proximity to complete, supporting with former information get been actually good. The points you will enjoy touched allow me to share really important, thus I will spot some of the information here to produce this actually good for entirely the newbie’s here. Many thanks for this information. Actually helpful! houstonrehabcenters

    ReplyDelete
  10. The post is written in very a good manner and it contains many useful information for me. Will Blue Cross Blue Shield cover Drug Rehab?

    ReplyDelete
  11. The blog is so enchanting. You just can’t be resistant to it.
    saliva drug test

    ReplyDelete

If you post spam or advertisements, I will hunt you down and eliminate you.

Comments may be moderated. Trolls will be deleted, and off-topic comments will not be approved.

Web-hosted images may be included thusly: [im]image url here[/im]. Maybe. I'm testing it.

Not dead

I'll start this post by answering a few questions that may or may not be burning in your mind: No, I'm not dead.  No, I didn't g...