Well goddammit, I started this blog 2 damn years ago, and I can't remember the password to access it. I didn't like the name of it anyway, so to hell with it. I'm starting over. I'll steal some of the stories from that one.
Anyway, I'm a surgeon. Specifically, I'm a trauma surgeon, and as the name suggests this is about my patients who do stupid things. Once or twice a week I stay in the hospital for a 24 hour shift to see the worst of the worst. One of my hospitals is in a rather poor suburb of a rather large metropolitan area, and the other is in a rather affluent suburb. No, I'm not going to divulge which city. The patients at the first hospital tend to be hopped up on PCP, drunk, shot, stabbed, or some combination. Those at the second hospital tend to be teenagers who crashed Daddy's Mercedes. Almost all of them are stupid, have done something stupid, or have made a really bad decision just before coming to me.
The first stupid story - a couple was involved in a car accident, and as they were wheeled into my trauma bay, she was wailing in pain and he was yelling "NO DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! TEND TO MY GIRLFRIEND!" I asked him if anything hurt, and he yelled, "Yes, my heart! It breaks for my girlfriend!"
Ugh. She was still wailing uncontrollably.
I worked them both up and they were fine. No injuries, just bumps and bruises. I walked into their room in the ER to see his WIFE and her HUSBAND yelling at them, along with her 2 sisters who had no idea she was cheating. Shockingly, they were both drunk at 8 AM.