Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Nothing

I must apologise for the lack of a post this week, but unfortunately it seems that none of my patients have done anything particularly stupid lately.  Anyone who knows my patients' proclivity for gross stupidity may find this hard or even impossible to believe, but sadly it is true.  I got nothin'.

However, I feel somewhat guilty leaving all of my readers in the proverbial lurch, so in lieu of a stupid patient story this week, I'd like to share a few things that some of my readers and followers have made.

First, we have this little gem by Marc Draco (I assume that is his real name).  In case you aren't familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect, it quite astutely (and accurately) describes people who are incapable of assessing their level of understanding of a subject and thus deem themselves more competent than actual experts.  Vani Hari (Food Babe), David Wolfe, and antivaxxers are prime examples.  Marc absolutely nailed it with this graphic:


Then there is this one, sent to me by @viva__lala (I'm pretty sure that is not her real name).  I don't know if there is an "emergency bracelet generator" out there, but if there is my 0.121 second Google search didn't turn it up.  
If anyone knows of a manufacturer that would be willing to make these, I bet I could sell at least 10 of these!  

The next one wasn't made by a reader or a Twitter follower.  Actually, it wasn't really "made" per se.  It's just a screenshot of a snippet of a conversation I had with a chiropractor I few months back, and somehow it got buried in my phone.  So I thought this would be the perfect place to deposit it.  I believe it speaks for itself:

And in case you're wondering, yes he meant that.  Whatever "that" is.

Finally, a personal bit of artwork presented without further introduction:

Surely everyone must be wondering what institution could possibly give me a doctorate in bullshit and why I would suffer through such an ordeal.  Well, I didn't.  A similar diploma can be yours all for the bargain basement price of zero, zip, zilch, nada.  Just go to thunderwoodcollege.com, and earn a doctorate for yourself.

Now if you excuse me, I have to go back to hoping my patients start acting stupid again.

13 comments:

  1. I believe you are experiencing the cognitive dissonance common to all emergency responders.

    we don't REALLY wish harm on people, but we know harm is inevitable, and hope it will happen on our watch, so we can help with damage control.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spring break started this past weekend and my gawd did someone open the gates of stupidity.. Got a double header with a fatality and weren't expecting the drunk driver that took out the other person to live very long.. and an hour after that call got another fatality..
    And I had a nice lull of boring going, seems my season is kicking up for the graveyard grim reaper shift..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we're already planning for the chaos scheduled for August.

      Delete
    2. Shut your dirty diiirrrtyyy fingers Ken, those are fighting words.. Don't jinx August, we get a lot of river calls, last year the body recovery business kept us too damn busy..
      Two calls that made me cringe, dead body in the river in their car for good gawd knows how long, ME said- turn around boys you don't want to see this and popped the body..
      Other was a suicide in a locked car went unnoticed in a freaking parking lot of a freaking store for a week with his rolled up windows in the month of August.. Driver was called to unlock it and made the mistake of automatically opening the door upon the lockout tool removal.. Both drivers had to burn their clothes..
      During August I vacation on the coast, we cruise to Newport and take the scenic route down to visit all the towns to pretend tourist and stay a week in Florence and hide away in the sleepy town..
      I have to get away, the burn out is way too damn real after I did 8 fatalities in a month.. I recharge fishing and swimming and making the kids shut all electronics off to recenter themselves..

      Delete
    3. I'm talking about the August 21st mayhem, not the standard order of things. the good news is for us in the summer, it is virtually impossible for anyone to develop enough velocity to cause any significant harm.
      when your code 3 response barely reaches 10 MPH, you know traffic is bad.

      Delete
  3. Homeopathics can change gravity?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous at 12:50 - like Bruce Almighty!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What he is saying then is that homeopathics changes the force of gravity.

    All we need to do then to create antigrav travel is stuff said vehicle with a bunch of homeopaths, who knew it would be this simple?

    ReplyDelete
  6. The medical bracelet, they are available online and you can get anything you possibly want put on them. There are no rules or laws.

    Things like Vegan
    https://www.etsy.com/listing/270069153/vegan-bracelet-health-awareness-vegan?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=medical%20bracelet&ref=sr_gallery_9

    Clear my browser history
    https://www.etsy.com/listing/293817469/engraved-medical-alert-bracelet?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=medical%20id%20pendant&ref=sr_gallery_34

    But seriously, for 7 bucks (and shipping) you can get one of these that can take a lot of information. https://www.etsy.com/listing/260339383/custom-laser-engraved-dog-tags?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=laser%20engraved%20dog%20tags&ref=sr_gallery_4

    Or these, which can be dog tags too (etsy is a great cheap place to get tags for your dog, you an get them in various shapes too) https://www.etsy.com/listing/260339383/custom-laser-engraved-dog-tags?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=laser%20engraved%20dog%20tags&ref=sr_gallery_4

    You can even get a photo engraved on one of these tags though I don't know what the purpose is other than to match up the info on the tag (that the person is wearing) to the person if they can't talk and don't have ID on them. https://www.etsy.com/listing/240321622/military-army-tag-with-chain?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=laser%20engraved%20dog%20tags&ref=sr_gallery_18

    ReplyDelete
  7. I nearly had a stroke at "moon energy."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serious question: has anyone ever died from laughing too hard? I think I came very, very close.

      Delete
  8. Thanks for the graph! So very true!

    ReplyDelete
  9. If you go to Jahi moms Instagram account there is a recent pic of her holding her daughters hand & if you enlarge it oh my her hands have really deteriorated & I mean bad! This is what the mom posted & I reckon she didn't cover it up this time since she thought know one would noticed. If her hands look this bad I would hate to see what her insides look like. But what makes me sick is her mom sees it everyday & rather have money than her daughter buried. I can not see a real mom doing this to their own daughter but then again it's amazing what some will do for money.

    ReplyDelete

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