*pause for laughter*
Having an anti-vaccine advocate head up a commission on vaccine safety would just as ridiculously stupid as
- having Bernie Madoff lead a commission on stock trading ethics
- having Clint Eastwood lead a board on gun control
- electing Donald Trump be president of the United States of America
Instead we're going to focus on the other insanity that cropped up nearly a week ago. I've been trying to figure out how exactly to write about it, because it caused such a visceral reaction of anger and pure outrage that I was forced to buy a new computer after smashing my old (new) one against the wall, throwing it out the window, running it over with my car, and setting it on fire. Unfortunately that did not cause the ridiculousness in question to disappear from the internet.
What I'm talking about is a piece written on Cleveland.com by an actual, real doctor at the actual, real Cleveland Clinic, which hit on so much antivax bullshit I can't even begin to count. How many?
All of them, I think.
I'll start by saying that this was written by Daniel Niedes, MD, who is the director . . . THE DIRECTOR of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute. For me, that's a clear strike 1. Whenever I see the word "wellness" or "integrative" or "holistic" (or "organic", for that matter), it stirs within me an unease that can only be mollified by coffee or a full fat, GMO, mostly gluten, chock-full-of-real-non-organic-sugar doughnut. Or coffee and a doughnut.
Dr. Niedes isn't some naturopath. He isn't a homeopath. He isn't a chiropractor. No, he is by all appearances a stand-up physician, fully qualified, board certified in family medicine, and working at the prestigious Cleveland Clinic. This isn't some fly-by-night walk-in clinic, this is THE CLEVELAND CLINIC, easily one of the most famous and well-respected medical facilities in the entire world.
That's what makes this so infuriating.
The title of Dr. Niedes' piece is "Make 2017 the year to avoid toxins (good luck) and master your domain: Words on Wellness". And that is strike 2. A real doctor used the word "toxins". I'll ignore the "master your domain" bit, as I'm sure we've all seen the Seinfeld episode and remember it well, and I can't even imagine what Dr. Niedes was thinking when he used this particular phrase.
Anyway, I'll go through the piece line by line, step by step, and I will quote from it liberally so we can all bask in its bullshitty glow. Ready?
"I am tired of all the nonsense we as American citizens are being fed while big business - and the government - continue to ignore the health and well-being of the fine people in this country."Whoa whoa whoa, stop right there bucko. This is the very first line, and he's already DEEP in bullshit. He's starting off at the very top with the BIG PHARMA WANTS TO KEEP YOU UNHEALTHY crap, and I don't give a flying fuck how tired he is with his made-up nonsense, I'm absolutely sick to fucking death of people thinking that doctors are trying to keep people sick to make money. And this is a DOCTOR saying this!
It gets worse. MUCH worse.
shown to be safe and does not cause autism. And then he goes straight into the formaldehyde bullshit! The amount of formaldehyde in a vaccine is far less than the body normally produces in a day, and it is rapidly metabolised.
Bullshit. And we're not even out of the third paragraph yet.
But Dr. Niedes is angry. Angry at "toxins".
It gets worse.
"I apologize and regret publishing a blog that has caused so much concern and confusion for the public and medical community. I fully support vaccinations and my concern was meant to be positive around the safety of them."