But I saw a similar bumper sticker recently that infuriated me, and I'll be goddamned if I'm going to keep my stupid mouth shut about it:
HA HA! It’s totally hilarious, right? HA HA! Oh my, I laughed and laughed. Har dee fucking har har. Make a fucking knee-slapping joke about drunk driving, something that kills and maims thousands of people every single year. I wanted to jump out of my car onto their hood, climb into their car, rip off their steering wheel, and beat them with it.
Anyway, after screaming and fuming and ranting and raving like a deranged lunatic, I started actually thinking about why I was so incensed. And after ruminating for a while, I realised that the reason I was so angry is that the bump you just hit that caused you to spill your drink might have been a pedestrian who wasn’t looking where he was going because he was looking down at his phone while crossing the street.
I think everyone would agree that drunk driving is bad, and distracted driving is bad, and drunk walking is bad. But what everyone on the planet seems to be forgetting these days is that distracted walking can be just as bad.
This leads (yes, finally) to my point:
Unless you live in the Brazilian rainforest, it is impossible to walk around without seeing people looking down at their phones - playing games, texting, tweeting, instagraming, snapchatting, or whatever the hell people do instead of looking up. I’ve seen people walk into walls, trip over curbs, walk into people, and nearly get hit by cars, all because they weren’t looking where the hell they were going because they just had to update their Instagram with whatever the fuck they just ate.
Do you really think anyone gives a flying fuck how omg totally delish your lunch was? Does anyone actually want to see a picture of your salad? And if so, do you really need to upload the picture while crossing 4 lanes of traffic?
The number of pedestrians I’ve seen getting hit by cars has been skyrocketing over the last decade, and most of these traumas are preventable because these folks either 1) are still using their goddamned phones as they are wheeled into my trauma bay or 2) immediately ask where their goddamned phones are.
“just got hit by a car going 2 hospital lol”
Seriously, people? Is everyone that willfully oblivious? Is it really more important to take your next turn on whatever stupid game you're playing than to make sure you don’t get run down trying to cross the street? Even Frogger was paying better attention to traffic than you are, and he was a goddamned 1980s 8-bit frog!
|This is you on your goddamned phone|
But when the meal is over, put it the fuck down and look the fuck up.