Nope. Despite my best efforts, it just hasn't happened yet. Because it seems that somehow people keep getting dumber.
A 25-year old man was brought to me in the middle of the afternoon having wrapped his car around a tree. The first thing the medics told us through the patient's howls of pain was that the guy had been clean from drugs for a while, but he just shot up some heroin that day. The second thing was slightly less surprising -
He had also been drinking. A lot. On a weekday afternoon.
"Fucking hell, doc! My knee! God damn it, my knee!"
I told him we'd give him morphine while we did our evaluation, but he told me he had a preference for hydromorphone (a synthetic narcotic about 10 times stronger than morphine). It's never good when they have a narcotic preference. I gave him the morphine anyway (because I'm not about to let some drunken heroin-addicted idiot dictate his own care), but of course it didn't touch his pain. His tolerance to narcotics was approximately that of an obese heroin-addicted hippopotamus.
It turned out he had a very good reason for screaming so much - a badly-broken knee and a fractured sternum (breast bone). So what caused the accident, I wondered.
"Duh, it was the alcohol, Doc!"
Well, yes and no. At 120 kph (75 mph) he reached down for his cigarettes which had fallen onto the passenger-side floor, and the tree must have jumped out in front of him while he was looking down.
I already knew that smoking was dangerous and stupid, but drinking, shooting heroin, speeding, and reckless driving is taking it to the next level of stupidity. This is überstupid.