Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Stupid update

This is the update you've all been anxiously awaiting - the update on last week's near-catastrophic near-career-ending story.  Or maybe you don't really give a fuck and I'm just being overly dramatic again.  In any case, if you missed it I did a Very Stupid Thing and tried to grab a chunk of Japanese maple that was spinning on my lathe at 750 RPM.  Ok, I didn't really try to grab it - it wasn't intentional, I was just trying to prevent the machine from jumping off the table because the log was unbalanced.  Regardless, my hand contacted the spinning log resulting in a deep gouge in my left hand that required three sutures.  Here is the offending log:

And here is the part of the log that actually hit my hand:


The irregular portion in the middle of the picture is where a rather large chunk of wood tore off and lodged in my hand.  And before you sick bastards say anything, no, there's no goddamned blood on it.  I withdrew my hand fast enough that the blood went on my floor, not the wood.  Fortunately.  I guess.

If you aren't saying "OW OW OW OW" right now, then you haven't been paying attention.

Of course in hindsight I should have bolted the lathe to the table when I first bought the lathe and built the table, but I hadn't intended on turning big rough logs at the time.  And then I changed my mind but didn't change the setup.  This rather (completely) silly (idiotic) manoeuvre led to the nearly-career ending injury about a week and a half ago.  Fortunately it did not actually derail my career.

Or my hobby.

What, you didn't think I'd let a goddamned log beat me, did you?  As soon as I got home from the hospital I disassembled the lathe table, installed some bolts, and then bolted the damned machine to the damned table like I should have done in the first damned place.  And as I was finishing, the lidocaine wore off.

Ow.  Ow.  OW.

I stayed out of the shop for a few days after that, not so much to protect my hand but more so Mrs. Bastard wouldn't have to remind me to be careful.  If that makes it sound like she was nagging me, I assure you she wasn't.  I was just being restless and stupid and anxious to return to creating stuff.  But then yesterday I decided that enough was enough - it was time I got back into it.  And when I did, the maple log was staring at me, daring me to work with it again.  So I did.  I put on the appropriate safety gear, grabbed my bowl gouge, and got to work.  And here's what came out of it:


That's right, log.  I beat you.  I WIN.

Fuck you, log.

48 comments:

  1. Revenge is a dish best served in a hand turned japanese maple bowl.

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  2. It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.

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  3. That's gorgeous. It's good that you have a talent to fall back on if this doctorin' thing doesn't work out.

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  4. Are you sure those aren't blood stains?

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  5. Now I am nagging, be a GOOD patient and allow yourself to heal. Take care, Doc.

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  6. Very nice bowl. Hi Doc, I just signed up for twitter so following you.
    How come no picture of your hand with the stitches?

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, and thank you.

      To answer your question, I didn't want to include a picture of myself. Plus, I didn't take one. Ok I did, but I deleted it.

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    2. No hand reveal? Thats dissapointing

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    3. you know he makes a policy of not posting pictures of the actual patient.

      Delete
  7. Asian conical hat?

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  8. Lovely bowl. What will you stain it with?

    What rolls down stairs
    alone or in pairs,
    and over your neighbor's dog?
    What's great for a snack,
    And fits on your back?
    It's log, log, log

    It's log, it's log,
    It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
    It's log, it's log, it's better than bad, it's good."

    Everyone wants a log
    You're gonna love it, log
    Come on and get your log
    Everyone needs a log
    log log log

    *whistle*
    LOG FROM BLAMMO


    apologies to Ren and Stimpy.

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    Replies
    1. No stain. I think the wood is beautiful enough on its own.

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    2. No stain, but mineral oil will bring out the natural beauty of the wood.

      Delete
  9. Turned out well in the end then.

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  10. Is it wrong that I was hoping for a picture of the wound.

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  11. A beautiful turn of the log, recorded on your blog, your hand did suffer, but it makes your tougher, now time to drink some grog!
    (nautipirate)

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  12. oops meant "make you tougher"

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  13. It's a beautiful bowl. Every time you look at it, are you going to think about how it almost ended your career?

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  14. It's an ugly looking bowl. You'll end up spilling your soup with that. Come on! That's not even professional. Just go to K-mart next time. Reality.

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    Replies
    1. No doubt.

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    2. then let's see it, and we'll let the readers decide.

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    3. Let's go easy on Anon. He doesn't realize that there are different bowl designs for different purposes.

      This isn't even tutorial level trolling.

      Delete
    4. It looks like a Thailand toilet.

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    5. Oh dear, Anon. Your trolling is poor. Beauty in art is subjective. If you dislike the bowl then that is your right as a human to believe. But you should thank your lucky stars it isn't above your mantel.

      What isn't subjective is that you're an asshole.

      Delete
    6. I was going easy on him.

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    7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    8. actually, not so much. kind of juvenile, in fact. more of a minor annoyance than an irritant.

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    9. Least hes not our old troll....

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    10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    11. Hah! I'd hate to be on your bad side, Ken. :)

      Delete
  15. OK, so you stayed out of the shop for a few days... how long did you stay out of the OR? :-#

    (BTW, nice bowl, too.)
    Cheerio
    Softship

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  16. Nice work Doc. Have you considered any surgical applications for your lathe?

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    Replies
    1. I've tried thinking of some, but I've come up empty.

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    2. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh Jim lad....

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    3. amputations would be a breeze

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  17. Wow!!! Despite the blood, sweat, tears and...er...stitches-you've created one gorgeous bowl! Should you ever change career's, Doc...put me down for two. :)

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  18. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  19. then let's see it, and we'll let the readers decide


    goldenslot

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  20. How much would you be willing to sell the handcrafted Bastard Bowl "HBB" for? If I had a HBB on my dining room table I bet I could attract a better class of friends.

    I also help run an Antique CO-OP a few HBBs placed around the store would help people forget that they are actually shopping in New Jersey.

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  21. That looks fantastic! I think it's really good (and mentally healthy) to have a creative hobby.

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  22. Please share your story on Reddit r/woodworking so we can all commiserate! Lol

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