. . .
"Hahaha! April fools! No but seriously, you're a big giant douchebag. April fools! I hope you die by falling into a giant pit of broken glass, king cobras, and arsenic. Haha! April fools!"
Anyway, I happened to post a lovely picture of a chiropractor doing an adjustment on a duck (no April fools) to Twitter earlier today:
In case you can't see it due to the mouthful of coffee you just spit all over your screen, that is actually a picture of an actual chiropractor actually doing a chiropractic adjustment on an actual duck. I'll repeat for those of you still cleaning your screens: A CHIROPRACTIC ADJUSTMENT. ON. A. DUCK.
Seriously folks, the picture just captions itself.
The response has been, ah, rather amusing, to say the least. So in the spirit of today, here are my favourite captions and responses.
Chiroquacktor doing the appropriate quack adjustments. https://t.co/6olnSrS7ex— YourBaby'sBestShot (@BabysBestShot) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard Well if it walks like a quack, talks like a quack and practises on a quack...— Fly Pastafarian (@FlyPastafarian) April 1, 2016
& no ordinary duck....but a very handsome - well dressed & highly educated duck... https://t.co/y884k8Wu9z— Are We There Yet? (@KBCanB) April 1, 2016
And these people constantly beg to be taken seriously as health care professionals https://t.co/kRN3sg6evh— GeekPharm (@geekpharm) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard The look on the duck's face says it all, "What the fuck are you doing to me, you QUACK!"— Mike Ashworth (@MikeAlphaOne) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @mark_lynas This really fits the definition of quack medicine.— Bob Duke (@DukeofWaiheke) April 1, 2016
I imagine the duck speaking in the voice of a serene Japanese salaryman. https://t.co/qM1WRZEuLP— John Cullen (@nellucnhoj) April 1, 2016
I like the way the duck appears to be going ,'Yes, AND?' https://t.co/soAlx2lyn8— Mark (@markusparkus75) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @tokyo_sexwhale Hahaha good April fool. Almost had me until I remembered chiropracters aren't real.— Danny (@skirmishmonkey) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @whippletom Isn't 'real' chiropractor a bit like saying 'real wizard' though?— Haralambos Dayantis (@HCDayantis) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @vcocozza76 Chiroquackter.— Cameron is a Pie (@GallusEffie) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard Well, I hesitate to say this, but the duck told me it did cure him. 😊— Marijke (@Marijke51) April 1, 2016
@haplesspete Duckluxation? @reasonable_hank @DocBastard— Rob (@HisRobbness) April 1, 2016
@HisRobbness Oh wait, how about some (D)Reiki Massage? @reasonable_hank @DocBastard— Hapless Pete (@haplesspete) April 1, 2016
It was a close race, but here are the runners up:
@DocBastard @TomChivers I’m an honest practitioner m’llard!— Sir Na₂Ca(CO₃)₂•5H₂O (@Gaylussite) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard here's an orthopaedic surgeon doing emergency surgery on a 🐔after she was mauled by a 🐶for comparison pic.twitter.com/FpQ8bQFb3f— Lilly Evilfatcat (@lillyevilfatcat) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @neverjessie Donald took to the treatment like a duck to homeopathy— Beef Twister (@WildBilbo) April 1, 2016
@DocBastard @GhostOfPJK so, they say quacks don't echo but I can def see two quacks there and only one duck— justin larkin (@redstarcycles) April 1, 2016
And the winner:
@haplesspete Guaranteed to cure any Mallardy @HisRobbness @reasonable_hank @DocBastard— NotAlwaysPCBunny (@nogodsnowars) April 1, 2016
Happy April Fools Day!
I wonder what her billing policy is.ReplyDelete
Her office looks nice. I would happily do homeopathy on animals for a nice fee. How do I sign up? Do I just print some credentials from one of those downloadable certificates?Delete
Shark i just drew mine in crayon. White crayon. (It was the only color i could find)Delete
Oh, the pun, thanks Ken Brown.Delete
The duck must have thought before going there that he should give it a quack before giving up on fixing his quack pain.ReplyDelete
That joke was bad and i should feel bad.
And here we have Doctor Frick, getting ready to test a relatively new method of spinal alignment using a strap-on.ReplyDelete
Sorry, too gross even for here?
I don't know, and doubt if there are medical benefits, but a visit to the chiropractor does make me feel better.ReplyDelete
This is something doc has mentioned b4: no there are no benefits and they can in fact inflict a lot of damage on you by trying to help. Theres a reason its considered a pseudoscience, hence its not taken seriously in the scientific and medical community for a reason.Delete
I have only ever gone to one, and fortunately, she was an accredited physical therapist who, in her words, "decided there was more money in quack medicine."Delete
I mean, I never never that it was pseudo science. I wouldn't go to a chiropractor for anything but a sore back, but I was always given the impression that it was based on muscles ane knowing the anatomy of the spine and stuff like that. I always pinned it into the same field as physiotherapy, who knew you could learn something new on an April fools day article.Delete
Just listen to Connor. He knows medicine.ReplyDelete
Oh im no expert. Not a doctor, not training to be one etc. But i do know the basics and some details. Doc and others like ken on here are the true experts.Delete
I'm no expert. I just watch and pay attention. my only official certifications are CPR and basic first aid.Delete
but if the patient catches fire, I'm your man.
Is that setting the patient on fire or putting the patient on fire out?Delete
putting the fire out.Delete
A few years ago, my husband fell off our roof while hanging Christmas lights; That was the last year we decorated outside. He collapsed his lung, but except for that and some bruising he was OK. As the ambulance was loading him in, they were asking me lots of questions. When I finished answering, the EMT said, "You sure know a lot. Are you the new lady doctor moving to town?". My husband, despite his struggle to breath, pipped up and said,"No, she just watches Trama Life in the ER a lot!".Delete
I have never been to a chiropractor, but I have talked to MANY people who claim that adjustments by one have eased pain, cured various ailments and so forth. One man who had been recommended to spinal surgery but whose persistent back pain was ENTIRELY CURED by a chiropractor. You will not easily talk this guy into the idea that it doesn't work.ReplyDelete
Pain is subjective.
Doctors hate this fact. They have to take a lay person's word for something! Oh no! Now they're trying to get you to rank it by this bogus 1 - 10 scale, so they can have a NUMBER to write down!
If it hurt before, to the point of being debilitating, and now it doesn't, it's going to be impossible for a doctor to talk me out of that. ("Oh now I see Doctor! You're right! It still hurts!")
But the duck I don't know about.
Wait, you think we hate when patients feel better? Why on earth would you think that? If a patient tells me he prayed to Zeus and his pain improved, do you honestly think I'd be angry about that?Delete
Back pain is the one, single, lone, solitary indication for which chiropractic has any solid evidence. But there are many of these people who claim the ability to cure diabetes, autism, cancer, and any number of diseases for which there is not only no evidence, but no mechanism. This is in addition to those who adjust ducks.
Its the same premise as someone saying herbal medecine is the key to fixing anything because mint helps a soar throat or steam from tea helps your sinuses thus it has to be the tea. While Some back pains the way to cure them is through chiropractic adjustment, they can easily be dealt with in other ways. Heck, sometimes all you need is a massageDelete
Like I said. I just go to the Chiropractor because it makes my back and me feel better. Also, I like to pray to Athena, Sif, and Diana, because even though, objectively, I know they almost certainly aren't real, it makes me feel better. If chiropracty makes your cancer feel better, go for it. Also, Connor, we have trouble taking you seriously when you type as though you were in a 4th grade writing class, and seemingly refuse to create a google account, continuing to post as Anon.Delete
Hi, Doc and Connor. I totally agree with both of you...AND I'm a happy patient of a *great* D.C. too! :)Delete
1. I've found that chiropractic adjustment is the best physical therapy to manage a congenital spinal condition that isn't operable without an extremely high risk of leaving me paralyzed. The exercise routine he developed for me, to maintain as much spinal flexibility as possible *between* adjustments, works great too.
2. My D.C. doesn't follow what they call the "straight" mindset. (That has nothing to do with sexual orientation...it's used to describe the "old school" mentality that claims *anything* can be cured by spinal adjustments). When I went in one day for adjustment and mentioned that I'd had some nagging shoulder pain for a few weeks, he tested my reach capacity, and arm and hand strength, then recommended an MRI. Results showed that I had actually severed a tendon, so he suggested I take the results to my PCP for referral to an orthopaedic specialist. Did that, and the doc suggested I try PT first as a work-around prior to considering surgery, and that turned out great.
Point being...spinal adjustments and flexibility exercises DO help with SOME things. IMHO, a chiropractor is only a "quack" when s/he *fails* to acknowledge that some conditions need different treatment, and to refer the patient to those options. I'd never expect to use a D.C. in place of a primary care provider, and sure wouldn't encourage anyone else to do so either.
If chiropracty makes your cancer feel better? Surely you're kidding . . . right?Delete
You are right about one thing though - Connor, just create a damned google account already.
Thats the thing- I did. And for some reason it doesn't acknowledge I am logged in when it comes to blogspot even after i log on on this page no matter what device I use. Its very strange. If the damned thing actually functioned properly I definately would. And I typically write on my phone so forgive the occassional shorthand and such.Delete
When I say "makes your cancer feel better," I really mean "makes living with cancer feel less shitty." By no means should chiropracty be used to cure or treat the cancer- it won't do either.Delete
If anything I would imagine it could cause you to feel worse, as moving around alone can be extremely painful for cancer patients. Having areas of your back cracked on top of that would probably be unbearable.Delete
My mother's dog has arthritis in his back and the vet referred the dog to an acupuncturist (is that even the correct term?! I don't know). I'm not sure of my mother ever took the dog but I can't imagine a dog enjoying that at all. These stories of animals receiving alternative medical treatments are becoming more common.ReplyDelete
Horses are now often receiving chiropractor services. (Also, crazily enough, acupuncture.) Since horses cannot talk we are sort of left with conjecture when we wonder if any of this "works" or not. Does the horse appreciate the attention? Who knows. The chiropractor and the acupuncture person certainly get paid (adding to the crazy-expensive cost of keeping a horse), so I'm sure they appreciate it.ReplyDelete
I don't own a horse. I am leasing a part of a horse (helping with boarding fees in exchange for the right to ride him on certain days). If the owner sees fit to call out a chiropractor, that's on her.
I also ride. The stable has a vet who does accupuncture come out on a regular basis, and I've seen accupuncture make a night and day difference to some horses. I have no idea why, but perhaps accupuncture somehow resets the nervous system's pain settings to shut off soreness, or releases trigger points in the muscles, or something like that.Delete
I've never seen the vet doing chiropracty, but some of the private owners there probably indulge in one for their crazy expensive hunter-jumpers.
Anne - You've just demonstrated how the placebo effect works in animals. Acupuncture has no mechanism by which it can influence animal (including human) physiology in any way.Delete
Dumb question, but how could a placebo work on animals? The point of placebos is 'mind over matter' convince someone that this sugar pill will relieve pain and it will.Delete
You can't convince an animal of anything...
Timethyfx - No, but one can perceive benefit when there hasn't been any.Delete
I know all chiropractors are not the same and over the years there may a chance they have improved since I made my initial evaluation in 1968. However, I would go to a witchdoctor before I would go to a chiropractor. In 1968 my 16 year old brother was diagnosed with severe systemic lupus erythematosus. After non-stop transfusions, the doctors told my parent my brother had maybe a week to live. Fortunately (or maybe not), my uncle was a physician at the Mayo Clinic and my brother was flown there three days later. For those who have friends, family or perhaps themselves currently dealing with lupus, this is probably not the same, please don't let what I am writing upset you. First this was 40+ years ago and my brother had an unusually horrendous case. Mayos brought him back from death, but it was painful and just kept him alive. For the next six years he hid from the sun, took wheelbarrows full of pills each day, and dealt with fatigue and pain. His kidneys finally failed after he was turned down for a transplant, which was considered experimental in those days. Sorry for the sad story - but now back to the idiot chiropractors. My family knew several chiropractors and heard similar comments from more than one. The gist of which was if we would just quit wasting time and money at the Mayo Clinic and bring my brother to one of them, they would have him cured of lupus in a few months. I am sure this treatment schedule would have come with a coupon book. Of course, we never even considered such ridiculousness, but the part that bothers me is that some people, perhaps due to desperation, would believe this garbage from dishonest or delusional charlatans, and it could cost them their lives. Hope this wasn't too much of a downer.ReplyDelete
I caught a bit of a snippet that led me to think California is floating a law that would allow people with terminal diseases to try unproven treatments on the theory they have nothing to lose and everyhting to gain. I think it was called the "right to try movement.Delete
by which I mean it allows anyone who can call himself a doctor of anything to market snake oil remedies to desperate people with no FDA oversight.
I believe I mentioned in another forum somewhere, the criteria under which I would consider "right to try" reasonable would be that the doctor who wishes to test his idea on human patients pays all the expenses of the treatments, in exchange for the right to use the results to seek approval.
Paula - I totally agree with you. That's where the potential for "doing harm" and possibly "making things worse" that Connor mentioned comes into play...when people who have illnesses that might actually be treatable through "standard" medicine forego this course of action for something that won't help their condition.Delete
I had a young cat come into my office one day (I'm a vet). It had fallen off a chair a couple months ago, and it had not improved after multiple chiropractic adjustments. The cat had two broken back legs - head of the femur popped off bilaterally. Some dumbass quack was torturing this poor animal for months!!! WTF! To say I gave those owners a piece of my mind is an understatement... Bilateral FHOs and the cat was finally pain-free and ambulatory.ReplyDelete