Anyway, my brain always runs at full speed, and that isn't conducive to anything even remotely resembling real rest (alliteration is cool). Naps are out of the question - I invariably wake up more tired than when I went to sleep, completely defeating the purpose. So I don't even bother trying. I think the last time I took a nap, bell-bottoms were in style. The first time.
"Stop mixing up your children's names."
One is a girl, the other is a boy. Neither name is androgynous, they don't start with the same letter, and they sound nothing alike. There's no excuse.
"Brushing your teeth with shaving cream won't get them very clean."
Speaking of which . . .
"Don't shave while you're half asleep."
Gentleman, do you enjoy intact skin on your face? I apparently don't, because I still try to do this. Speaking of which . . .
No this isn't a huge deal, unless I'm wearing that one pair of pants I own that are just slightly too big. Speaking of which . . .
"Hey, you forgot your pants. Again."
"Put the seat back down."
Fine, I will admit I sometimes forget to do this even when I'm not tired.