Monday, 12 May 2014

2,000,000

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?  SERIOUSLY, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??

I don't understand this at all.  There are only 229 subscribers to SftTB (that's my stupid nickname for this stupid blog), but as I write this, my tiny little worthless, meaningless, good-for-nothing blog has surpassed 2,000,000 page views.  That either means that A) each of my fabulous subscribers has checked in 8733 times, B) there are a lot of people out there who visit here often but aren't subscribers, or C) I personally have clicked on my own blog approximately 1,998,472 times.

Regardless of the reason, I am absolutely amazed that there have been 2 million page views since I started writing this about 2 1/2 years ago.  In addition to being astounded, I am also deeply honoured that so many people have taken time out of their busy day and devoted a few minutes to spend time with me.

So once again, in lieu of my usual sarcasm and snarkiness, I would like to say with all honesty and sincerity, thank you.  I've had many people email me to tell me they've told their husbands, wives, siblings, friends, classmates, pets, and prison cell-mates about SftTB.  If you enjoy what you read here, please feel free to share this blog with others (as long as you don't find it as insipid and vapid as I do).

Now that that's out of the way, for the love of god stop lurking and subscribe already!  You know you want to!  You apparently can't subscribe from the mobile site, so go find a damned computer and sign up.  And follow me on Twitter or something.  And get off my lawn.  Oh, and if you haven't done so already (or even if you have), please leave a comment telling me where you're from and how you found me.

In case I haven't gotten my message across yet: thank you.  I love you all.

Not really.

Best,
Doc

98 comments:

  1. Hi, I lurk your page and have corresponded with you and you posted my story. I am in Cheney, WA (Go EAGS!) and I found you due to FML.

    Keep the stories coming, I love it!

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  2. I found you via fml curiosity for the story behind your picture. I am from Canada.

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  3. I think I found you through google - can't quite remember tho..... haven't subscribed cuz I have too many emails that go through my inbox already :P but you are a favorite page and love your wit and sarcasm at the idiocy that is humankind (ok maybe not all, just alot). I'm from Canada doing my BSN online.

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  4. Michigander here. I found you when I did a Google search for information on chest trauma for a book I'm writing. Well, a book for which I have had two chapters written for roughly two or three months, but they're two mighty fine damn chapters!

    You're in my Netvibes feed, and I follow you on Twitter. Unfortunately I never look at Twitter.

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  5. That's a bit unfair you asking where we're from without telling us where you're from, isn't it, Doc? We've all wondered for 2 1/2 years now! Even just a country? That's not giving away too much!
    At any rate I am from Alaska and found you from FML. I check your blog daily. Keep the stories coming!

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  6. GOD FINE ILL SUBSCRIBE! And I found you through a picture during a google search that took approximately 0.37 seconds

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  7. I'm from the Detroit area and found you through FML. I'm a huge fan of snark and sarcasm so needless to say I loved your commentary and knew I needed more bastard in my life :)

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    Replies
    1. Right across the Canada/US border from ya!

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  8. Sydney, Australia!! I found your blog on FML, probably clicking on your account due to a witty or funny comment you made

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  9. North Carolina. I found your blog researching the Jahi McMath case. I keep up because I work at a level 2 trauma center and I have become snarky and love comparing stories. (As I write this, we're sending a motorcycle accident to the OR. Cheers!)

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  10. I'm from Oahu, Hawaii (a.k.a the spec of green in a world of blue) and found you through FML. Not subscribed because my laptop decided to visit New York without me via Air Canada.

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  11. Your blog was mentioned in a random thread on a forum I frequent. Out of curiosity I looked you up and the rest is history! Not subscribed but I have your blog bookmarked and I check every few days. Love it. I'm from New Zealand :) maybe I'll subscribe now......

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  12. Once you subscribe, you receive the full text of posts in the email notification. I would think your page views would go down slightly with more signups?

    I'm in Oklahoma City and found you last year. I came for the Jahi McMath and stay for the veritable smorgasbord of awesomeness. Or something like that. ;)

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  13. Hello Doc,

    Well, your success is 100% deserved! I discovered your blog via the FML website (I am LadyLelan, out there), and got hooked instant.

    It's nice, refreshing (yes, refreshing) to read about a trauma bay, but from the point of view of a surgeon, for once, and not a patient. It's not very frequent to see life from the other side of the hedge. Incidentally, your humor and how you hate absence of common sense are a pleasure to read.

    Being from a family that, alas, has had a long "love" story with hospitals, your point of view as a no-nonsense doctor is even more precious to me.

    Greetings from France,


    Isabelle La Vosgienne.

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  14. Hi. I'm Lauren from SoCal. I found you from FML and I check this page at least twice a day to see if there are updates so I might have accounted for a good number of those views since I've been visiting for almost 2 years now.

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  15. Hey my name is Nicole and I am from Louisville, Kentucky. I actually stumbled upon you on FML and got hooked on your interesting stories!

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  16. Some of us are getting your new stories via the RSS reader ;-)

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  17. Hey my name is Mara and I'm from Baden-Württemberg, Germany :D I discovered this site through FML, and I check it pretty much everyday.
    Thank you for all these great stories :)

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  18. I'm from Pennsylvania! I think I found you during the whole Jahi McMath thing. It was also during a month when my mom fell on ice and shattered her humerus, and obviously needed some crazy surgery and lots of help afterward. I had a lot of time to kill and pretty much read your whole blog. It seemed pretty serendipitous to find it when I had to sit around in a surgery waiting room for hours and hours.

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  19. I didn't even notice the sign-up bit. This URL is simply one I check every day.

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  20. Been reading your comments on FML for years until I found this. Keep up the good work!

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  21. NorCal here, not even a cool part of it. I view your blog on mobile, and its actually the first thing that pops up on the URL thing.

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  22. Like many, I think I've stalked you from FML and found my way here.
    Posting from France ;-)

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  23. Hello, full time lurker here! I've been looking at this blog twice a day since the second or third post, must account for a good few of those views by now! I was an admirer of yours on FML for a long time and was looking at your profile and saw your blog, I was hooked straight away. I'm one of those mobile people unfortunately and too lazy to find a laptop so my lurking will continue indefinitely, congratulations on your brilliant blog and keep up the good work! From the UK

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  24. Hi! I'm from the coastal plain of LA County. Close enough to the beach to enjoy the coastal cooling, but far enough away to forget we live in a tourist area.
    I'm the daughter of a CRNA who had aspirations of being a nurse but math brought me to my knees. Ended up being a teacher who loved science. Enjoy reading about your adventures.

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  25. SW Virginia here. Found you during the Jahi McMath debacle. Been following along ever since. And I took a day to read back through every. single. entry. ;-)

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  26. NYC. Found you on FMyLife of all places and Decided to stay around. I often share you with folks, including one of my friends who's a radiologist. You never fail to Educate and Entertain, something I always aspire to do in my own students.

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  27. Hi, I'm from Las Vegas, Nevada. I've already been subscribed to you for a long time. Looking forward to more good times and awesome stories! Keep on being a bastard, Doc!

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  28. I'm from Cardiff, Wales and I found you through FML x

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  29. I'm from Eastbourne, East Sussex, UK. I found you through FML I think. I check every few days to see if there is a new post! And often read them out to my mum and boyfriend!

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  30. I'm from Germany and I found you because I read one of your comments on FML and I seriously hated your guts for what you said there. (Don't remember what it was about though, sorry ;) ). Thus I stalked your profile, found this blog, binge-read everything it had (which was like 3 years worth of posts) in a week, and since then I like you.

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  31. Found you as a link from another Jahi's story, got hooked on your intelligent sarcasm, read the whole blog, e-mailed you, been here ever since....
    Denver, Colorado :)

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  32. Sophomore in High School here! :) I found you on FML and your blog is truly amazing.

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  33. Hi I am following from Hawkes Bay, New Zealand. I happened upon your blog through a link in someone's reply on a Jahi McMath article I was reading. I went back and read every post. I have spread the word (as requested) and four friends are also dedicated followers!!

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  34. Seeing how you bring us all back to read your tales of the trauma bay makes me realize that the internet can unite us through our common interests. I'm from SoCal, found you through FML (I lurk within the shadows there too). You shall not pull me from the shadows on FML but maybe I'll subscribe here.

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  35. I am from Indiana and I found you through. FML. Since I'm a medical student myself, your blog is a great insight into the experiences that I might possibly have in the future and as always it is a great pleasure to read your blog regularly :)

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  36. I'm from Maine, I discovered this through FML.

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  37. Hello there! I keep this blog up on my phone and just check it every couple of days! Found you on fml a long time ago, and been a lurker ever since! Im in DFW Texas!

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  38. I found out through my Brother's Wife, she saw me reading another medical blog and recommended yours. you definitely have the humor the other blog was missing, while being just as informative

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  39. I found you on fml. I have a bookmark that I check every couple of days.

    Im from Warwick in Queensland Australia

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  40. Why should I need to subscribe? I'm here every day anyway!
    All the best from London - keep up the great work Doc'.
    Ugi

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  41. Still here! I may have used other names in the past, but I stumbled here from FML after one of many readings of comments when I saw what looked like an x-ray as someone's profile picture.

    Curiosity carried my mouse cursor to the name of the comment author, giving a grim smirk at the name, then clicked.

    At that point, I nearly burst into tears laughing cause someone apparently shoved a bottle up their arse.

    Of course, being that I spotted your blog link at the time, I clicked in hopes of finding more cool stuff, or perhaps funny stuff, and was not disappointed.

    Some of my older comments here are undoubtedly marked with my old netname Madrias, but as times change and people change, netnames change.

    Before anyone asks, yes, I am American (Born and raised in Illinois), and yes, I do occasionally end up using British English. I tend to do things like that. Some words just sound better, other times it happens when I'm a little riled up.

    And congrats to you, Doc, on being interesting enough to grab 2 million pageviews!

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  42. I'm from Singapore! Probably the same as majority; I came from FML, and I love it whenever a doctor/medicinal FML appear and everyone is just waiting for your comment. And of course, even during other FMLs and your wit just shines through to be among top comment. :D

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  43. I'm from Helsinki, Finland. Found you through FML about two years ago and been following ever since. Congratulations on the milestone and thank you for the blog!

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  44. I'm from New York, and I sought you out because I was curious about your profile picture on fml.

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  45. Hey Doc, been lurking for a couple years since discovering you on fml (you actually replied to one of my comments!) and signed up/subscribed just to return some of the gratitude for posting your stories/experiences! THANK YOU! (oh, and I'm from Illinois)

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  46. I found you from Jahi, but I follow you because you kept my interest. Hemet, California here. :)

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  47. I found you on FML and love all your posts, but didn't follow until now. From the little US state of VT! :)

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  48. Hi! I'm from middle of nowhere PA, but go to school in the Albany, NY area. I guess I found you while comment stalking FML. When I started reading, I was actually a Pre-Med student, but after realizing I really like technology really, really loathe Organic Chemistry, I'm studying engineering.

    Also, I hate to break it to you but approximately 759,843 of those views are of me checking back several times a day to see if you posted anything. I absolutely love your insight, humor, and snarkiness. Congrats on your success!

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  49. Hello! I'm from San Francisco Bay Area. I found you through FML. I enjoy reading your posts and already subscribed. :)

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  50. PACU nurse . Akron Ohio . I found your post when I was reading about that stupid California family and life support case from tonsillectomy and someone mentioned your name. I look forward to reading this every day

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  51. Like tons of other people, I found you via your glorious comments on FML. Regular high school student from Denmark here, stalking your blog.

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  52. 6th grade student from Georgia, U.S.Keep them posts comin'!

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  53. Biology/Education double major from Pittsburg, Texas. I found you on FML and was not aware that there was a subscribe button. Keep on updating!

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  54. Yuma, Arizona here. A friend sent me a link to one of your posts very recently… I read it, read a couple more, decided I liked you and started following your blog. I'm a recent convert.

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  55. GSP South Carolina, found you via FML in the comment sections. I have also shown your blog to several other friends, one of which just graduated from nursing school and would like to be a trauma nurse. She loves your blog. Keep up your excellent work Doc and see you around.

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  56. Northeast Texas, found you on FML about 2 years ago. I've enjoyed your blog since then. It helped me relax a little during study breaks while in nursing school. I've shared your blog with a few others.

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  57. I found you on FML (which I rarely read anymore). I read your updates through Feedly.

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  58. Well I just googled "trauma surgeon" and found your blog only a couple of months ago (and I read through all your stories in less than a week) I'm going to start medical school in India this year and as a student I find your stories absolutely fantastic!

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  59. I'm a 15 year old from the south of England, and I found your blog a year ago, after looking at your profile on FML. I've now finally decided to follow on after school and do a course in medical science at college. Many thanks for many minutes of pure enjoyment reading your stories.

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  60. I stumbled across your blog when the Jahi McMath debacle began. Been following it ever since and have read all the older posts. I already follow you on Twitter. Anyway, I really like your stories and appreciate your valiant efforts to educate the idiot masses. Your head must really hurt from banging it against the wall so much, though.

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  61. Hi Doc Bastard! I'm from Florida and found you from allnurses.com

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  62. Hi! I found your blog on FML. I'm from Massachusetts. I also follow you on the Twitter machine. I'm slowly (painfully so) working my way through your older posts. A great read here, I must say.

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  63. From New Brunswick, Canada. Found you over FML and came to your blog over two years ago and been reading it since. I've suggested your blog to several people who are into the medical feild. The only knowledge I know about any of this stuff I have acquired through reading your blogs but am completely interested and entertained by your stories.

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  64. Greetings from Champaign, IL , but you are being "followed" in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina as well. Keep up a great work Dr.Bastard!

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  65. Greetings from the Monterey Bay in CA. I'm a pediatrician and found your blog through your posts about Jahi McMath. I loved how you accurately and clearly stated the issues in her case (her lawyer is an awful, horrible person) and I appreciate your advocacy for science and common sense (vaccines work, are safe, and save lives!)

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  66. From Boston, Massachusetts and found you through FML! Keep the stories coming, I've shared your blog with all my friends and coworkers and reference it at least once a week

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  67. I'm from Lancashire, UK, and like many others here I found you through FML. I bookmarked your blog and looked every couple of days for about the past year or so, and decided to make an account just for this comment here.

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  68. I found you through my sister, which my sister got from her boyfriend who's from Australia. I'm from the Philippines.

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  69. I currently live in Japan and I found your blog via google (I don't remember what I was searching for). I've been reading your blog for 3-4 months now and your snarkiness + sarcasm gives me LIFE! I've read all of your posts & I check once a week to see if you've posted a new story. I'm too lazy to get on my laptop so I can't subscribe, but I bookmarked you and that's good for something, right? Lol. Keep being awesome Doc & keep the stories coming!

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  70. With all due respect, who the hell are YOU? ;)

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  71. Hi Doc! I'm from British Columbia, Canada. I found you through FML a couple of years back and have been reading since.

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  72. I've been reading your blog since the beginning. I used to frequent FML and that's where I became enamored with your comments and the character you play on these anonymous social mediums. I even remember a time before you were quite so paranoid about the protection of your identity (I presume because the board of medicine or what have you is probably much less concerned with FML comments than with the divulging of personal patient data), when you had a picture of your daughter banging on a drum, I believe, way back when. In the days of snickerdoodle the grammar nazi (haha that sounds like a fucked up childrens book; by the way, whatever happened to her?). I remember the first post on this blog, I believe you had previously started one but didnt like the name and had forgotten the password, so you transfered a few of the stories over here and the magic began. I'm from Dallas, TX, currently living in Denton, TX to go to college. Everyone is saying they check the blog daily, but I prefer to let myself forget about the blog for several weeks or even a month or two, and then bing-read all the compiled posts (just like Lays, you can't devour just one- that's Lays, right?). So yeah, keep up the good work with your whole "saving people" bit, the world paradoxically needs more like you and yet can only handle the one (I don't think there's room in this universe for 2 DocBastards, i imagine a great battle of Harry Potter proportions where one of you would shrivel up like a beached sea sponge from all the dry humor and sarcasm. "Neither can live while the others humor runs dry ." Or something like that...oh and I'm not subscribing, I'm far too lazy to find your blog with out the bookmark I currently use; who has the time to actually type out URL's these days? (says the girl who just wrote a novel for a comment)

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  73. Hey doc! I found you about 2 years ago on fml and while I no longer go on that site I'm addicted to your blog. I even got a Twitter account so I would know when you posted a new story. You're awesome and keep writing you make my dull evenings brighter :) oh yes and I'm from New York!

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  74. I found you on FML. Checked out your blog out of curiosity, and got hooked on your stories! Had to bookmark it so I can check it once or twice a week. Even have some friends and family reading this now! And I'm from Illinois!

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  75. I found you on fml as well, just like many of these other peoples. I hail from Virginia, and I absolutely love your blog. I look it up every couple of weeks or so because I like a big dose all at once. I'll keep looking for updates :)

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  76. I'm a lurker as well but that's because I've only viewed the site on mobile and didn't know you could subscribe, I'll do that as soon as I get on my computer :) I'm from DC and found the blog through fml

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  77. Hey Doc, I've been lurking here since you started it. I knew you from FML where I used to read a lots of comments - yours were always the most snark, sarcastic and humorous of the bunch! Greetings from Montreal, Canada!

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  78. I'm a lurker, healthcare professional from Miami, Florida. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me think and most of all you make me glad there are trauma surgeons out there like you. I found you during the Jahi McMath fiasco...

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  79. I am from Boise Idaho and enjoy reading your blog!

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  80. I found your blog from FML and I'm from Maryland.

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  81. Maryland and FML here too! It's been a couple of years, and I check in every week or two. I just found out yesterday that one of my favorite bloggers passed away, and this is the perfect opportunity to say how much I enjoy reading yours. Keep on truckin'! :)

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  82. North Carolina, by way of the McMath debacle. I have shared your blog with everyone here at the asylum. Brain injury is my field. Love your posts, doc!

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  83. Hey Doc, I'm a recent nursing school graduate from Illinois. Found your blog through allnurses.com (your blog was mentioned in discussions on Jahi McMath). I very much enjoy reading your stories, and I'm hoping to get into the local ER once I pass NCLEX (as a RN, not a patient, hopefully)! Thank you for this blog!

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  84. Hi Doc! I'm from the San Francisco Bay area, and I found your blog because of the Jahi McMath story. (I have friends who either work at CHO or have had lifesaving experiences there.) I've been hooked ever since. Love love love your blog. I'm a school psychologist, by the way.

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  85. volunteer firefighter, here - got linked to your blog while talking to a friend about people having difficulty comprehending triage.

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  86. I am from Toronto and have been working in the ER department ever since I graduated. It hasn't been long since I started (almost 3 years), but I enjoy reading your blog since I can relate to your stories - and frustrations - quite well! I discovered this site by chance while I was on FML.

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  87. Via social network shares, thank you for the interesting peek into your work world. 30s middle manager type, just passing through.

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  88. I was reading a post on 9gag about some stupid people going to the doctor and I saw a comment that went something like this: "if you enjoyed this post then you should check DocBastard's blog".

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  89. Reading you up from Pisa, Italy! I found the link to this blog on your FML profile a year or so ago..since then I've been checking in every couple months or so ^^ keep up the good work, you are amazing!!! :)

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  90. I found your blog from FML! Thought your comments there were witty and funny. Thanks for the laugh!

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  91. I think I found you from a news story about Jahi McMath. I'm in NorCal. I finally decided to sign up a few days ago.

    I work in a hospital and really enjoy your side of the story. As a lowly clerical support worker, I don't interact much directly with the doctors. So I feel like I can get a feel of some of what you doctors go through by reading your blog. And you're very entertaining!

    I think my dad would like your blog. But I don't dare show him. He's an ordained minister and I made the mistake of giving him a book that contained the word fuck in it once. He chewed me up and spit me out about that one.

    I'm also wondering about this FML a lot of people mention. I'll have to Google it.

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  92. Utah here- found you through fml :)

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  93. Texas. I was looking for sensible information on what happened to Jahi McMath when I found you. I keep reading because your blogs make sense.

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  94. A very long and bizarre chain of googling diseases and stupid patient stories while working at my phone led me here. I do not regret it one bit! I'm eventually going to make it all the way back to the beginning of your blog and become sad when I have no more SftTB to occupy my 8 hrs of answering phones. Then I guess I'll have to start watching episodes of Stories from the ER. Though that's not as interesting. 23 year old from the state of Georgia here! Your blog is fantastic and I love your takes on medical current events such as the Pro-disease (Ahem: anti-vax) movement, homeopathy, and the Jahi McMath 'debate.' You give the human side to medicine, not just figures and data, and THAT is one of my favorite things to read about. Yet so few Doctors can actually divulge without the fear of backlash. Thank you so much for continuing to share your stories for those of us who love to learn about the medical field but probably would suck at being Doctors.

    -Kennie

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  95. How did I get here?
    1. I read your (only/perfect) FML while working my way down the archive. Now looking forward to reading your (earlier) comments there.
    2. I checked your profile, as your comments and attitude intrigued me. The x-ray sold me and:
    3. Jumped the link. I've been reading for almost two days now, loving it more and more as I go.

    Your writings strike a nerve. Though I am not in medical profession, the parallels you draw apply to many other careers where there is a disconnect between the patient/client and the professional. Especially with stupidity. (Like, WHY can't most people put both "Today" and "FML" on their submissions??)

    As for me, I live in Southern California, North LA county. I'm a graphic designer and computer geek with a taste for quality snark and troll-disarming (both amongst your talents). Looking forward to the rest of the archive!

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  96. I rarely subscribe to anything or comment. I enjoy and visit your blog frequently. Thank you for making time to keep us enlightened.

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