Sunday 8 September 2013

Brotherly love

I have a brother.  We get along  When we were kids, though, we fought like brothers often do.  We'd wrestle, punch each other in the arms, and then wrestle some more.  Unfortunately for me, he's 2 years older than I.  Even more unfortunate is that he's 8cm taller and outweighs me by at least 20kg.

That fact never stopped me from attacking him.  And it never stopped him from defeating me soundly every time. 

But our squabbles never escalated higher than that - squabbles and tiffs.  Because underneath the childish tension and puerile pugnaciousness (look it up) was a strong brotherly bond.  And though the fights have long since ceased, that bond persists to this day. 

I have a feeling this next guy and his brother won't have such fond memories.

A man in his mid 20's was brought to me after he got into an argument with his brother.  Was the fight over money?  A girl?  What TV show to watch next?  I didn't ask, because frankly after seeing the 11 stab wounds that his brother inflicted upon him, I didn't give two shits about the reason. 

That's right, you read correctly - his older brother stabbed him 11 times.  In the back.  With safety scissors.  If you've never used or seen safety scissors, those are the blunt ones that children use that require even more force than regular scissors to actually break the skin.

"Your brother did this to you? I asked, astonished.  "Really?"

"Yeah," he replied.  "It's pretty cool, right?"

I simply stared at him. I had no words. 

"Aw man, I'm 25 years old.  I guess I'm just excited.  It isn't his fault, though.  He's just been really stressed lately."

I still had no words. I simply cleaned his wounds, repaired them, and sent him home. 

I can fix wounds.  Family relationships?  Not so much.  Stupid?  That's just unfixable. 


  1. How come? 11 times all in the back? Is it a game or manhood test? Maybe brother like in a special club and that was the entering exam!
    Mind blowing.

  2. This sounds like something that would happen here in Wisconsin.

    1. ...I thought the same thing. I read a story about a guy who couldn't find his mac & cheese, got really upset, and while his brother helped him look for it, he (the brother) spilled mac & cheese guy's beer, so mac & cheese guy stabbed his brother in the stomach. I thought there was no way it wasn't from WI, but it was from Florida. So I guess there's hope for us? Maybe?

    2. It's funny you should say that.
      I also live in Wisconsin, and while reading this, I was reminded of someone I knew, who, in childhood, had chased his brother around the kitchen with a butcher knife (presumably) with the intent to use it.
      Fortunately, the brother locked himself in his room until their parents came home, and no one got stabbed.

      Oh, Wisconsin...

  3. That sounds exceedingly difficult.

  4. 11 stab wounds...just wow. I have an older brother, and we don't really get along, but I would never consider stabbing, nor him stabbing me.

    As for being excited...I only have thing to say: what?


If you post spam or advertisements, I will hunt you down and eliminate you.

Comments may be moderated. Trolls will be deleted, and off-topic comments will not be approved.

Web-hosted images may be included thusly: [im]image url here[/im]. Maybe. I'm testing it.

Not dead

I'll start this post by answering a few questions that may or may not be burning in your mind: No, I'm not dead.  No, I didn't g...