Thursday 10 January 2013
Getting away with it
How many drunk idiots have been brought to me after crashing their cars? A hundred? Two hundred? Probably more than that. And how many of them have actually been arrested? I can probably count that on one hand. Most of these maniacs get away with it, something that makes me absolutely livid.
Now, how many of them have gotten simple citations for their besotted idiocy? I don't keep actual statistics, but based on my memory, it's likely less than 10%. Most of the time the police don't even show up, and when they do, they don't seem to feel like hanging around until our workup is done so they can issue the ticket. One police officer actually told me that "it just isn't worth it".
Isn't worth it?? I just stared at him, incredulous. It drives me batshit crazy when these people get away with crimes like this that put everyone, my wife and children included, at risk of serious injury or death. In fact, I get aggravated when someone gets away with something as simple as a traffic violation. Which seems to be a perfect segue into my first mini-rant of 2013.
I was sitting on the freeway in stop-and-go traffic on my way to the hospital this morning, a police car right in front of me, something I usually find to be very comforting. As we were passing an on-ramp, I noticed a taxi in the other lane swing into the on-ramp lane to get around a few cars. It pisses me off when I see people do this, because it's like they are telling me "I'm far too important and in far too much of a hurry to sit in traffic like the rest of you plebs. I'm making my own traffic rules!" I immediately yelled at the policeman in front of me to pull the taxi driver over, which I'm fairly certain he didn't hear through my windscreen and his back window. Traffic continued at a near-standstill while the taxi got ahead of 5 or 6 cars. Congratulations, asshole. Now you get to keep sitting in traffic with the rest of us underlings.
About a minute later, we started to pull even with the far-too-important cab who had again been caught in the slower lane. I noticed the policeman sidling over towards him and my mouth started to curl into a smile. It broadened into a huge grin as he flipped his lights on, swung quickly behind the taxi, and pulled him over.
Justice. Sweet, sweet justice.
I'll start this post by answering a few questions that may or may not be burning in your mind: No, I'm not dead. No, I didn't g...
How many true surprises are there in life? This was the question I asked Mrs. Bastard when she was pregnant with our first child and wanted ...
EDIT NOVEMBER 1 2017: GINGER'S LIST HAS BEEN UPDATED TO 142 PAPERS. I HAVE ADDED ALL THE NEW ONES IN ORDER. NEW PAPERS ARE PREFACED BY *...
EDIT: New and improved version, now with 83 of your favourite myths. Ooooooh boy. I have no idea what kind of rabbit hole I'm entering...